Summer blockbuster season officially hits its zenith today, halfway through the summer and marked by the biggest release of the year, undeniably. If you're wondering what to see this weekend, between singing chicks, monkeys in space, or the mother f*cking Batman, then I'm hereby revoking your testies.

If you saw it at the midnight screening last night, shut your mouth you lucky bastard.

Mamma Mia

Chick Flick. 'Nuff said? Chances are you'll be seeing this this weekend only if you've done something so heinous that it's a punishment - did you cheat on your spouse? Say hello to Mamma Mia. The other way you might get a glimpse of this one is at a drive-in double-bill, where you get something for the ladies up front, then something for the guys afterwards (like fellatio during the movie).

If your girlfriend isn't interested in seeing The Dark Knight then ship her off to this with the other ball-and-chains and enjoy the time off with your bros. Thank god for alternatives.

Space Chimps

Speaking of alternatives, if the thought of a post-mortem Heath Ledger is enough to creep your kids out then ship 'em off with the babysitter to this little giggle-fest. Unlike Kung Fu Panda, Wall-E, or Finding Nemo this animated flick is made solely for the kids with little-to-no appeal for adults. So unless your wife is a bigger Batman fan than you, you'll be skipping this.

Seriously, I don't think you can even get guilted into take the kids to see this movie on the same weekend as The Dark Knight! You could have killed your wife's grandmother in a nudity-related heart-attack situation and still get away with flat-out saying "no".

The Dark Knight

Here's the money - better than Iron Man, The Hulk, and Hancock combined, it's the flick we've been waiting for all summer - Christian Bale reprises his role as the one and only Bruce Wayne aka Batman! The buzz surrounding Heath Ledgers performance as The Joker is undeniable and incredible - OSCAR rumors already?? Could it be that monumental?

Regardless of the hype, viral marketing, or massive advertising campaigns, The Dark Knight is set to not disappoint anyone from the Batman newbie to the hardcore comic book nerd (cough cough). Go see it this weekend and contribute to it becoming the year - nay, HISTORY'S - biggest opening weekend ever.

What am I seeing? Like you need to ask. Look for my The Dark Knight review on Monday, because there's no way I'm missing it.

May your popcorn always be buttered,

Chris the Creep
Why so Serious?