We're still being besieged by Hollywood cannon fodder, seeing as how we're only halfway through summer blockbuster season, but things are starting to pick up again - this week sees a film by the incredible director Guillermo Del Toro, the return of 3D to the big screen, and... some chaff by Eddie Murphy.
While the constant onslaught of Superhero/comic book adaptations is starting to wear me down (gasp!) I remain hopelessly optomistic that anyone with super-strength fighting villains will make a good movie. Ron Pearlman or Christian Bale, either way, my ass'll be in a seat.
Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D
Brendan Fraser makes a quick cinematic stop on his way to The Mummy 3, starring in this "REAL 3D" sci-fi/adventure flick about a professor, his son, and some random hot chick that get trapped in the Earth's core. The big trouble? Something's happening that's threatening to destroy the planet from the inside out, and it's up to the heroic travelers to save the day.
Expect lots of yelling, screaming, and needless "through the camera" 3D sight effects. I'm not saying it won't be good, but by the end of the show you'll be sick of hearing Fraser scream over and over.
Meet Dave
What a fall from grace by Eddie Murphy - bring back Daddy Day Care! Wait... no, scratch that. Bring back the Eddie Murphy that did stand up, not the Eddie Murphy that makes films so horrible even he refuses to see them. This one's comedic chaff, without a doubt - stereotypes and fart jokes, like an even worse The Love Guru.
While actions are booming (lol, pun) at the box office, comedies seem to be floundering unless directed at children. All of the once-great comedic actors have lost it - Sandler, Meyers, Williams... give me something good to laugh at! Let's hope Tropic Thunder is decent, at least.
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army
Ron Pearlman, perhaps the ugliest man in Hollywood, returns to the big screen in a role that's perfect for his mug - one that's so caked with makeup that you can't see he actually looks better in red paint. GDT directs this one, hot off of Pan's Labyrinth. You know it's going to be a visually stunning flick, plus I hear Family Guy's Seth MacFarlane is voicing a very very funny character - worth it for that alone!
Hellboy is probably one of the most badass characters to hit the big screen - he's a massive, ugly demon with elephantiasis of the right hand and a massive gun called The Good Samaratin. He's so badass he'll kick your ass if you don't see this movie.
This week's picks are easy - go see Hellboy 2. It won't be kid-friendly, but if you've got the kids this weekend then Journey 3D (not the band) isn't a bad choice either. But if I hear Meet Dave made top 3 in the box office, I'm holding each and every one of you responsible.
Oh, and there's only one week until The Dark Knight! Until then, may your popcorn always be buttered,
Chris the Creep
