After an ancient truce existing between humankind and the invisible realm of the fantastic is broken, hell on Earth is ready to erupt. A ruthless leader who treads the world above and the one below defies his bloodline and awakens an unstoppable army of creatures.

Now, it's up to the planet's toughest, roughest superhero to battle the merciless dictator and his marauders. He may be red. He may be horned. He may be misunderstood. But when you need the job done right, it's time to call in Hellboy (Ron Perlman). Along with his expanding team in the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Development--pyrokinetic girlfriend Liz (Selma Blair), aquatic empath Abe (Doug Jones) and protoplasmic mystic Johann--the BPRD will travel between the surface strata and the unseen magical one, where creatures of fantasy become corporeal. And Hellboy, a creature of two worlds who's accepted by neither, must choose between the life he knows and an unknown destiny that beckons him.

Starring: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones, Luke Goss

Beer.com at the Movies - July 11

We can't avoid the monster that is the Hollywood hype machine - the ubiquitous nature of advertising combined with our reliance on TV and internet media make it inescapable. How many Dark Knight adverts have you seen today alone? That's what I mean about the Hype Machine. Fortunately though The Dark Knight will meet its huge hype - the preceding reputation, if you will. Hellboy 2, on the other hand, fails. It fails beautifully, but it still fails.

That's right; as much as you liked the first Hellboy (which was far from perfect) Hellboy 2 falls short in just about every situation - it's still funny, and still looks beautiful (can we expect less from Guillmero Del Toro?) but it falters in pacing and story-telling.

Hellboy (Ron Perlman) continues his duties for the BPRD, defending the earth from supernatural threats but now does it while continuing his relationship with pyrokinetic girlfriend Liz (Selma Blaire). THAT whole relationship sub-plot seems needlessly tacked on - in a film that's supposed to be about big ugly demons fighting bigger ugly demons, we don't need to know that Hellboy's girlfriend is pissed off she doesn't have enough space in their quarters.

Discovering a plot by a royal pain (lol) to unleash the fabled golden army, an unstoppable killing force bent on exterminating mankind. Our motley crew consisting of Hellboy, Liz, the aquatic empath Abe (Doug Jones) and the disembodied psychic medium Johann Krauss (voiced by Family Guy's Seth MacFarlane) set out to protect humanity. After vanquishing a giant monster they proceed to get drunk, fall in love, have a monster love-song-duet, then walk for a while.

Seriously, they had me up until "fall in love". With so much potential around giant monsters fighting, why spoil it with a love between an elf and a fish-man, and a devil and a hot chick? Sounds like some creepy Japanese porn right there.

And then to top it off they go and pull a Shrek with the revelation that *SPOILERS* Liz is pregnant with twin devil-hybrid children. WHAT THE FUCK?!

I feel so hurt and let down by this film that I can't possibly recommend anyone spend good money to go see it in theaters - my verdict?

SKIP IT